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You are here:Open notes-->sexology-->THE-KAMA-SUTRA-OF-VATSYAYANA-Part-28


Of the Characteristics of Men and Women

.—The Reasons
Why Women Reject the Addresses of Men.—About Men
Who Have Success with Women, and About Women Who
Are Easily Gained Over.

The wives of other people may be resorted to on the occasions
already described in Part I, Chapter 5, of this work,
but the possibility of their acquisition, their fitness for cohabitation,
the danger to oneself in uniting with them, and the
future effect of these unions, should first of all be examined.
A man may resort to the wife of another, for the purpose
of saving his own life, when he perceives that his love for
her proceeds from one degree of intensity to another. These
degrees are ten in number, and are distinguished by the following
1 Love of the eye.
2 Attachment of the mind.
3 Constant reflection.
4 Destruction of sleep.
5 Emaciation of the body.
6 Turning away from objects of enjoyment.
7 Removal of shame.
8 Madness.
9 Fainting.
10 Death.
Ancient authors say that a man should know the disposition,
truthfulness, purity, and will of a young woman, as
also the intensity, or weakness of her passions from the form
of her body, and from her characteristic marks and signs.
But Vatsyayana is of opinion that the forms of bodies, and
the characteristic marks or signs are but erring tests of character,
and that women should be judged by their conduct,
by the outward expression of their thoughts, and by the
movements of their bodies.
Now as a general rule Gonikaputra says that a woman
falls in love with every handsome man she sees, and so does
every man at the sight of a beautiful woman, but frequently
they do not take any further steps owing to various considerations.
In love the following circumstances are peculiar
to the woman. She loves without regard to right or wrong,*
and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment
of some particular purpose. Moreover, when a man
first makes up to her she naturally shrinks from him, even
though she may be willing to unite herself with him. But
when the attempts to gain her are repeated and renewed, she
at last consents. But with a man, even though he may have
begun to love, he conquers his feelings from a regard for
morality and wisdom, and although his thoughts are often on
the woman, he does not yield, even though an attempt be
made to gain him over. He sometimes makes an attempt or
effort to win the object of his affections, and having failed,
he leaves her alone for the future. In the same way when a
woman is once gained, he often becomes indifferent about
her. As for the saying that a man does not care for what is
easily gained, and only desires a thing which cannot be obtained
without difficulty, it is only a matter of talk.
The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man
are as follows:
1 Affection for her husband.
2 Desire of lawful progeny.
3 Want of opportunity.
4 Anger at being addressed by the man too familiarly.
5 Difference in rank of life.
6 Want of certainty on account of the man being devoted
to travelling.
7 Thinking that the man may be attached to some other
8 Fear of the man's not keeping his intentions secret.
9 Thinking that the man is too devoted to his friends,
and has too great a regard for them.
10 The apprehension that he is not in earnest.
1 1 Bashfulness on account of his being an illustrious man.
12 Fear on account of his being powerful, or possessed
of too impetuous passion, in the case of the deer-woman.
13 Bashfulness on account of his being too clever.
14 The thought of having once lived with him on
friendly terms only.
15 Contempt of his want of knowledge of the world.
16 Distrust of his low character.
17 Disgust at his want of perception of her love for him.
18 In the case of an elephant-woman, the thought that he
is a hare-man, or a man of weak passion.
19 Compassion lest any thing should befall him on account
of his passion.
20 Despair at her own imperfections.
21 Fear of discovery.
22 Disillusion at seeing his grey hair or shabby appearance.
23 Fear that he may be employed by her husband to test
her chastity.
24 The thought that he has too much regard for morality.
Whichever of the above causes a man may detect, he should
endeavor to remove it from the very beginning. Thus, the
bashfulness that may arise from his greatness or his ability,
he should remove by showing his great love and affection for
her. The difficulty of the want of opportunity, or of his inaccesibility,
he should remove by showing her some easy way
of access. The excessive respect entertained by the woman
for him should be removed by making himself very familiar.
The difficulties that arise from his being thought a low character
he should remove by showing his valor and his wisdom;
those that come from neglect by extra attention; and those
that arise from fear by giving her proper encouragement.
The following are the men who generally obtain success
with women:
1 Men well versed in the science of love.
2 Men skilled in telling stories.
3 Men acquainted with women from their childhood.
4 Men who have secured their confidence.
5 Men who send presents to them.
6 Men who talk well.
7 Men who do things that they like.
8 Men who have not loved other women previously.
9 Men who act as messengers.
10 Men who know their weak points.
1 1 Men who are desired by good women.
12 Men who are united with their female friends.
13 Men who are good looking.
14 Men who have been brought up with them.
15 Men who are their neighbors.
1 6 Men who are devoted to sexual pleasures, even though
these be their own servants.
17 The lovers of the daughters of their nurse.
1 8 Men who have been lately married.
19 Men who like picnics ancl pleasure parties.
20 Men who are liberal.
21 Men who are celebrated for being very strong (bullmen)
22 Enterprising and brave men.
23 Men who surpass their husbands in learning and good
looks, in good qualities, and in liberality.
24 Men whose dress and manner of living are magnificent.
The following are the women who are easily gained over:
1 Women who stand at the door of their houses.
2 Women who are always looking out on the street.
3 Women who sit conversing in their neighbor's house.
4 A woman who is always staring at you.
5 A female messenger.
6 A woman who looks sideways at you.
7 A woman whose husband has taken another wife
without any just cause.
8 A woman who hates her husband, or who is hated by
9 A woman who has nobody to look after her, or keep
her in check.
10 A woman who has not had any children.
1 1 A woman whose family or caste is not well known.
12 A woman whose children are dead.
13 A woman who is very fond of society.
14 A woman who is apparently very affectionate with
with her husband.
1 5 The wife of an actor.
16 A widow.
17 A poor woman.
18 A woman fond of enjoyments.
19 The wife of a man with many younger brothers.
20 A vain woman.
21 A woman whose husband is inferior to her in rank
or abilities.
22 A woman who is proud of her skill in the arts.
23 A woman disturbed in mind by the folly of her husband.
24 A woman who has been married in her infancy to a
rich man, and not liking him when she grows up, desires
a man possessing a disposition, talents, and wisdom suitable
to her own tastes.
25 A woman who is slighted by her husband without
any cause.
26 A woman who is not respected by other women of
the same rank or beauty as herself.
27 A woman whose husband is devoted to travelling.
28 The wife of a jeweller.
29 A jealous woman.
30 A covetous woman.
3 1 An immoral woman.
32 A barren woman.
33 A lazy woman.
34 A cowardly woman.
35 A humpbacked woman.
36 A dwarfish woman.
37 A deformed woman.
38 A vulgar woman.
39 An ill-smelling woman.
40 A sick woman.
41 An old woman.
There are also two verses on the subject as follows:
"Desire, which springs from nature, and which is increased
by art, and from which all danger is taken away by wisdom,
becomes firm and secure. A clever man, depending on
his own ability, and observing carefully the ideas and thoughts
of women, and removing the causes of their turning away
from men, is generally successful with them."


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